With so many women to choose from in the BC, why is there this resounding "BW don't want to date us," that always comes from WM. Everyday I hear black women that have previously stated that they would not, could not date a white guy, change that tune to - why the hell not!When I was in college there was this black girl dating a white guy on campus, something happened, I don't exactly know what, but the girl was humiliated and ended up leaving and going to college elsewhere. I think the greatest thing dividing us, or keeping us from exploration is fear, albeit an irrational fear. Many of the BW that I know say that the absolute worse fear that they have would be being used by a WM to fulfill some sexual fantasy, and tossing them aside once they've had their fill. Let's face it we have all heard the quip by some WM, "do what you need to do, just don't take her home to mama!"
Humiliation is a powerful thing. Who wants to go through something like that. Investing time, energy, and emotion in a relationship only to find out that you were a cheap thrill, or simply satisfying a curiosity. But can't the same be said about being with a BM.
That works in both directions. Some BW are curious and try it out, test the waters see what its like if you will. Another big issue for many of the BW that I have spoken with would also be public acknowledgement. Dating is one thing, it is awkward initially because all eyes are on you for whatever reason. Once you move into the realm of "Relationship," I want that man to walk with me proudly with his head up high, as if to say "Yes, this is my woman!"
I saw this video on Classical One's blog and it expressed perfectly what I wanted to say in today's blog. It is just too cute!
7 comments:
I've often been frustrated with the whole idea that so many women out there are just looking for someone they honestly have a connection with. I'll be honest I automatically think he has to be black and nothing else will do. At times I entertain the idea in my head that color shouldn't really matter at all, but society makes it so difficult for you to forget about race. So what do most women do...we wait and wait hoping that Mr. Chocolate will walk into our world. It's kinda sad that we'd rather wait then think we could find someone great who doesn't share the same skin color.
Unfortunately the BC is an Honor-Shame culture like most in the Middle East. Self enforcing misery.
love and respect are all we need and it doesn't have to come from one group.
hey, heather. love the topic. Yes I would agree that it is taking a chance but you can't find love without putting yourself out there. It's as simple as that. It's weird to me that so many young ladies don't worry about a brother using them yet constantly worry about a wm using them! Does it hurt any more if he's white?
Yes Sara pain is pain, the color of the man's skin is inconsequential!
I'm afraid that a white guy I might date maybe taking me for a ride.
The thing is I don't want to played for a fool by any man especially a white man. I don't hate white people I just have a healthy suspicion that is all.
I can tolerate being played for a fool once but I got my pride and I don't like being made a fool.
Anonymous who posted at 3:48 p.m. - any man might try to play you. The trick is to use good judgment with ALL men, and watch for (and recognize and admit!) the signs that he might be using you. Don't assume that because he's white there's a greater likelihood that he would use you. Use good judgment with men of any color.
Post a Comment